Οικογένεια και διαμόρφωση επαγγελματικής ταυτότητας νέων

Have you ever wondered about the way your children are forming their professional identity?It is a social chain reaction... Radical changes have taken place in every era, from traditional society to today's information age and the current economic-political crisis. These, as is sociologically expected, have forced adjustments in the role of the family. Thus, from the traditional 'nuclear' family, where parents, especially the father, are responsible for the care and socialisation of the children - something that used to be the responsibility of the extended family, grandparents, uncles and grandmothers who lived with or in the vicinity of the family - we are increasingly seeing the emergence of single-parent families. Also, modern family forms are 'reconstituted' families resulting from the union of two families after divorce or widowhood and 'split' families which are marital families that have broken up. The reason is not because the spouses do not wish to live together but because non-family reasons, usually socio-economic, have led them to do so. It is in this reality that adolescents develop and form their professional identity. So how is this influenced over time?

Often, in the Parent Groups I run, I am asked: 'Why are things so difficult today? Why is my child so reactive? Why doesn't he respect me like I used to respect my parents?" Or "My child has no goals, when will he finally grow up? I at his age knew exactly what I wanted to do...", "How will he find his professional identity?" These questions cannot be answered without taking into account the wider social context in which the family operates. Also, the historical reality within which the family as an institution and the parental role have been shaped and developed.

During the long period of the rural economy

Small closed communities with a common goal of survival and the main characteristic is the formation of cooperative relationships between individuals, common and enduring values, clear and unambiguous roles between the members of each family. The socialisation of the child is a matter for the whole community. The child gradually takes on tasks and contributes to the struggle for survival, learns through his/her actions, feels secure, but has limited choices. The young person does not have to seek his/her professional identity or conquer his/her place in the world. Everything is determined by the environment in which he/she was born and raised.

During the industrial revolution

Characterised by homelessness and migration, the community is fragmented and people operate with individual motives. The nuclear family is isolated and each member is employed in separate work thus gaining personal & economic independence. The social advancement of the members is sought as the family as a whole is promoted through the adaptation of the children to the new conditions of the society. To achieve these aims there is an over-concentration on the effort to educate the children, a pervasive anxiety and pressure for their performance in school, as the success of the children and of course the professional identity is closely intertwined with the promotion and psychological upliftment of the parents themselves.

And we arrive at the present, postmodern era

Where the economy is based entirely on information. The world is not characterized by stability but by change. Roles are no longer given, nor are values. The goal of society has changed and people are not only seeking survival but also well-being. The family has to socialise its children in a society full of contradictions. The modern parent can in very few cases give advice. He can only through his lifestyle be a positive role model for his children. This presupposes that he himself has the necessary personal and social skills, such as: recognising and managing emotions, communication, active listening, conflict resolution, crisis and problem management. If the Parent is constantly questioning/searching for his/her own professional identity, how will the child find his/her own?

Study you and your family and help your children!

Record the family history of each spouse individually and study the quality of inter-family relations. You may make some very important observations about the formation of the current family's relationships, as some emotional processes are passed down from generation to generation.

Allow your teenage son or daughter the time and space to find his or her own personal balance, form his or her own identity and gain autonomy from the family. The Teenager who remains a child and dependent will find it difficult to cooperate with his/her peers, while the Teenager who grows up in haste will face risks that he/she is not yet ready to manage.

Renegotiate rules, boundaries and roles, allow gradual autonomy and delegate responsibilities. Beware of any differences of opinion you may have with your partner on key parenting issues as they will be exploited by your teenager.

Devote time and energy to your relationship with your partner, which is often neglected as the parental role is given priority. The positive relationship of the couple plays a very important role in the psycho-emotional maturation processes that occur in the young adult in order for him/her to feel ready and decide to leave home and take full responsibility for himself/herself.

Use direct and clear communication that is respectful and positively reinforcing, this will help the teenager to build confidence and form a positive and realistic self-image.

...and don't forget

Maintain the hierarchy, in no case can parents and teenager be equal. Do not be afraid to set boundaries and respect them, express interest, affection and love, listen carefully to their needs, encourage their participation in decisions that concern them, thus helping their autonomy.

Cultivate a climate in which all family members can express opinions and feelings without criticism and discouragement.

Prepare to manage what we call the "midlife crisis". Many parents of teens are in the midlife phase where they will feel the need to question and renegotiate life choices such as career and personal choices. Act calmly and in a positive manner as you remember that you are a role model for teens.

Finally, remember that the way you choose to engage in the role of "my parent's parent" when you are called upon to support and care for your own parents will affect your relationship with yourself and your child/children.

In the video "At what age do I choose a career?" you will meet Irini Andrioti and you will hear about the development of critical thinking which is the key to the ongoing choices/decisions that every Young person will be called upon to make in their life.