The teenager's identity in our hands! We are a role model...

Adolescence is the age period of experimentation and questioning in order to achieve basic psychosocial goals such as autonomy, positive self-image, identity determination.

Adolescence has tended to be considered a "difficult" period for both the adolescent and the parents, teachers and the social group in general. It is a transitional stage characterised by the need to define identity and the pursuit of autonomy by the young person. In the character of adolescents during this period, all the elements of childhood are still present, but they are beginning to be shaped in order to come closer to the external reality as seen and experienced by the adult. Many changes therefore take place during this period and many elements of the direct and/or indirect family and wider social environment in which the young person is active will play their part. Are we ultimately their 'role models'?

First and foremost, parents, as internal objects and as identity models, will be inherent in all psychic processes.

At the same time, the "all-powerful" parental image will begin to diminish as the adolescent establishes his/her own identity. Roles and social status, as they appear in a society in crisis, become extremely important. The young person in the 4th phase of development (according to Piaget) will work out patterns already possessed, if and when they conflict with the environment, modify or enrich them and repeat them many times until they are consolidated.

Adolescence is the age period of experimentation and questioning in order to achieve basic psychosocial goals such as autonomy, positive self-image, identity determination. During this period, children learn through creative activities in confronting their environment in a process of regaining balance (*). The adolescent, unconsciously, borrows elements from the behaviour of those around him/her, personalities he/she respects, admires and trusts, assimilates them and reassembles them within his/her own context. In this way, he shapes his own behaviour through successive identifications. By exploring and adopting patterns of functioning at home, at school and in every other social environment in which he operates, he reaches the definition of his own identity.

Basic rules for a healthy environment for development and identity determination

Provide emotional coverage, support, concern: when the child and adolescent feels cared for, understood and loved, they accept limits (when they are not excessive and particularly strict) as a natural extension of parental protection, but also as a necessity for the proper functioning of the family,
Show confidentiality, honesty, objectivity, objectivity, protection and good cooperation so that he/she does not face important problems alone or with friends,
Be patient so that a climate of support and empathy is established and the teenager feels safe and ready to share any concerns or problems,
Adopt a positive attitude - we all need a positive comment - it boosts self-esteem and builds strength and courage,
Avoid an absolute and critical attitude, understand their enthusiasm and need for experimentation: give them the opportunity to express themselves, to make mistakes, to dare, to live, to get closer to you,
Any intervention should be done with care, discussion, genuine interest and argumentation,
Attempt to seek responsibility but without blame,

And don't forget:

Any attempt at guidance is doomed to failure when it takes the form of a lecture or a sermon, who likes to be told what to do?When in fact the tendency to independence and resistance to any form of authority is a characteristic of adolescence!

In another article I discuss in more detail the parental role and the dynamics of the family in determining the identity of the Adolescent.

In the video "At what age do I choose a career?" you will meet Irini Andrioti and you will hear about the development of critical thinking which is the key to the ongoing choices/decisions that every Young person will be called upon to make in their life.
(*) Irini Andrioti during her career guidance sessions with adolescents, based on this theory, applies techniques and methods of role-playing to explore their professional identity and the search for career alternatives suitable for them through imitation of role models.
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